It's always sunny in Center Field

Eric Byrnes and Vernon Wells are guest commentators on Baseball Tonight. How awesome is that? Byrnes is such a good personality and kind of a nutcase (see this for reference). I mean come on, he traded himself. A smart livejournaler once said "When the bombs fall, I want Dr. Eric Byrnes at my side." I couldn't agree more.

Speaking of Byrnes, his former team is kind of ruining my whole prediction thing for the ALDS. I wouldn't mind seeing the A's win, I just wish it were more of a series. Maybe the Twinkies will climb back in this one. You know, if Radke's arm doesn't fall off. I give him an over/under (hi Drew) of 25 pitches. Unsettling stat for Billy Beane: The A's are 0-7 the last 7 times they went up two games in the ALDS.

Verlander says he may not be able to get as pumped up for the game on Thursday because he used all of his pumped-up-ed-ness on Wednesday. What a moron. He'll do fine.

If you blame Torii Hunter for the Twins loss, by the way, you're not thinking with your head. Hunter has been a gold-glover caliber center fielder this year, and you know if he makes that play, it's all over Sportscenter: web gem, top play, etc. There aren't too many center fielders in baseball that could have made that play. Sure, if he pulls up short and lets it bounce, it gets Reyes another batter and a chance to get himself out of it. However, it puts two men on base. Hunter catches that ball and there's an out and nobody advances.

Ron Gardenhire, in the post-game press conference, said that Torii has great instincts and that he never second guesses him. That's a good manager. Hunter took a good route to the ball, he just came up short. His bat is the reason the twins have done so well in September, so maybe he can keep carrying the Twins that way.

Eric Byrnes would have made that catch, though.

Red Sox Obervations

The Red Sox are (inconspicuously) absent from the playoffs this year. With all sorts of deals going on since the end of the 2004 season, the team currently heading back to their minor league assignments bears little resemblance to the championship team of two years ago. Watching the Padres yesterday afternoon was ridiculous. They traded away some decent players in the past two years, the following being a few.

Currently in the playoffs on the Padres active roster are:

Cla Meredith- In 50 2/3 innings, he has a 1.07 ERA, a 0.71 WHIP, and has only given up 6 runs on 30 hits with 37 K's. Yeah, glad they traded him for, umm, Doug Mirabelli. This dude was rated as one of the better prospects in the organization. Doug Mirabelli doesn't wear batting gloves. I suppose this trade might have made SOME sense had Tim Wakefield not been out most of the season.
David Wells - Still fat, but does well in the playoffs (10-4 with a 3.15 ERA, giving up more than 3 runs only 4 times in 26 appearances)
Alan Embree - I bet he misses Timlin. Poor guy.
Rudy Seanez - He pitched 1 2/3 innings yesterday with 2 K's. WTF.
Josh Bard - Batting .333 on the season (.378 in September) and slugging .522
Mark Bellhorn - Has lustrous hair
Dave Roberts - Great in left now that Mike Cameron is in Center. Less ground to cover, he somehow looks faster.


Yeah, it's was definitely odd watching the Padres. Then of course there's the other players the Sox traded, like Jay Payton (clutch hits in the A's win yesterday), Derek Lowe (Dodgers Game 1 starter and ace), postseason pusher Nomar (still don't like him though, despite) and Johnny Damon, who somehow gets base hits even though he has the ugliest swing ever. And Mike Myers. He's 'aight.

Not in the playoffs but still notable are Cy Young candidate (not winning, though, for sure) Bronson Arroyo, who had a decent season pitching to the light-hitting NL, ROTY candidate Hanley Ramirez, and Andy Marte. Okay, so maybe only the first two count. How about Kelly Shoppach, let's just throw him in there too.

Anyhow, it's kind of depressing seeing none of the teams I even remotely root for (Red Sox, Orioles, Phillies, Royals and Devil Rays) in the playoffs. It's nice, though, because now I can root for any of 7 teams to oust just 1. Go Tigwadomecarpads!

Predictions for the heck of it

Okay, so it's been since May. Sue me. In this post: Playoff picks and observations.

Okay, so I'll get to the predictions: I say the Twins are going to take the whole thing. I'd love to see a Twins-A's ALCS, but clearly that's not happenig

Division Series
Twins over A's, 3-2
Yankees over Tigers 3-1
Dodgers over Mets 3-2
Cards over Padres 3-1

Championship Series
Twins over Yankees 4-2
Dodgers over Cards 4-2

World Series
Twins over Dodgers 4-3

But why the Twins?

Since Pitching wins championships, I'm staying with the Twinkies. But Lou, Liriano is out, and he was clearly their #2 man. Radke is pitching on a MacGuyver'd arm and a wish. Okay, okay. Did you also know their bullpen is 71-1 when the Twins lead after 7? They have blown ONE GAME ALL YEAR. One freaking game. Yeah, pitching. Oh, they also have AL MVP Joe Mauer, September MVP Torii Hunter, and Justin Mourneau running protection for a not particularly stellar rotation (after Santana). Don't forget that their bullpen Juan Rincon (2.91 ERA), Pat Neshek (2.19), Jesse Crain (3.52) and Dennys Reyes (0.98) is anchored by one of the best closers in the league this year, Joe Nathan. Nathan is 36 for 38 in saves with a 1.56 ERA, .158 BAA, 12.51 K/9. The entire bullpen has a cumulative ERA of 2.91 ERA. That's what you call good pitching. That said, I think this is the year that Santana blows a game or two in the playoffs.

of course

Of course the Phillies are offically done today. Naturally, they're gonna finish one or two games back of the wild card. What else could you expect? What did I predict at the beginning of the year? Another late season run that would captivate people yet just fall short? Of course. Because that's how they do it.



Hey, at least the Braves aren't in the playoffs this year. That's something.


I guess I'll do picks....

Yankees over Tigers in 3 (prove me wrong, Detroit!)

Twins over A's in 4

Mets over Dodgers in 5

Padres over Cardinals in 4

----

Yankees over Twins in 7

Mets over Padres in 6

-----

Yankees over Mets in 6 (boooooo)

(By the way, I hope to God that this doesn't happen, but it probably will. Baseball has just been lame like that recently. I want Padres over Tigers, but there's no way.... is there?)

For the record

Fuck the Red Sox. You dickwads have been phoning it in since '04. Get over yourselves and win a division once in a while.

...


I didn't mean that! Papi, you're so loveable! And you played well, I admit. First Sox player since Jimmie Foxx to hit 50 - not shabby. But as for you...




...you're dead to me, boy. More dead than you're dead mother.

Here comes the Phillies bandwagon! Wait for me!

ahhhhhh not again

I don't want to jinx anyone, so I've been silent as the Phils improbably crept back into the wild card race. They're only one game out now, with the Reds looking bad. Hell, the whole league looks bad.

But then...

(sweating)

I notice that a certain team has won 8 straight...

(clamming up)

And they're just two games behind, even more improbably, with a cast of youngsters.....

(choking)

the Florida Fucking Marlins.

(getting flashbacks of 2003, diving under tables)




(Honestly, you're at .500 right now. Just stay there. Just go even for the rest of the way, and you'll probably win this thing. I don't care if it will be the least impressive playoff berth in baseball history. Just freaking be medicore and let there be a playoff game in Philly for the first time in 13 years.)

Maybe Bud is not Paul's bitch?

The following is a letter I sent to Bill Simmons, the Boston fan / columnist for ESPN's website. I've been wanting to discuss this topic with an expert for some time. Yes, it's more about football, but it brings up a good point about baseball, because most of America has chosen football over baseball (including me, I'll be honest) and Tagliabue is much much much much more respected than Selig. I argue in this piece that while that's true, Tags has a major fault that Selig at least trumps him in. Hopefully, this will incite some debate on this space.

---------------------

Hey Sports Guy,

With all the commotion surrounding the search for a new NFL commissioner, and the talk of inheriting a position held by such great men recently, I thought of something people seem to be ignoring. I know this sounds crazy, and I'm asking for a lightning bolt, but has it ever occurred to anyone that Pete Rozelle and Paul Tagliabue were overrated? Or at least, that they were kinda bastards when you think about it? Bear with me.

People commend Tagliabue for getting a lot of new stadiums built. And he did that. But it's how that happened it that bothers me. Tagliabue allowed the whole Cleveland Browns debacle to happen, which was one of the sadder parts of football history. Those fans lived and died with football, then watched as Art Modell hoisted a trophy for Baltimore. But the people in Baltimore were celebrating, because 15 years before they had been screwed over by the Irsays. And so on with a number of other cities. The commissioners allowed Bill Bidwill to ditch St. Louis (though, yeah, they were eventually better off with the Rams) and L.A. to lose both teams (though, yeah, no one here seems to care).

For years, Tagliabue allowed owners to blackmail fans with the threat of moving. Give in to the tax money for a new stadium, they were told, or watch your team jump ship. People in Houston and Cleveland watched as their former teams made Super Bowls in new cities, and not only that, they were then given crappy expansion teams with many more restrictions on them than Carolina and Jacksonville had. The two recent expansion redux teams haven't done much, while those new market teams in the Southeast had the chance to be good right away. Why stick it to those football-crazy people in Texas and Ohio? Why not make it easy for divisions to be organized?

Compare this with baseball, which has many more problems, but fewer moves. Few people respect Bud Selig remotely as much as Tagliabue, and he's made a lot of mistakes, but only the Expos have moved in the past 30 some years. There are still teams in places like Pittsburgh and Kansas City and Milwaukee, even if they are hopeless (that's another problem).

As a Philly fan, I've suffered a lot, but I never had to worry about anyone leaving town, and I think that's a much worse fate than perennial chokers. I hope that Goodell keeps the great business of the league going, but not by alienating fans and threatening moves to any team that doesn't have a brand new stadium. Am I the only person to think so? Does this make any sense?

Thanks,

Justin Leo,

Orange, CA

(well, not for long, but whatever)

damn you all

So a while back I was gonna write a piece about how the Phillies should not trade Bobby Abreu, one of their most consistent players over the past decade. Even if they were losing, and they are, I was going to go on and on about his solid hitting and base stealing and how they should get rid of Pat Burrell first. Ther just wasn't enough reason for it.

Then I saw it on TV when I was at the beach: Abreu in a Yankees uniform.

NO!!


NO!!!!!!!






KAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!



(why?)


I guess the Phils figured it was better to trade him away from the NL, away from any rivals.... but seriously, the Yankees? I kept reading how depleted their farm system was.... so how could they offer something nice in return? And why do you keep helping Satan, even if he's not in your league, to hang around? There was a chance, with all the good teams in the AL, that the Yankees would miss the postseason this year. How glorious would that be? But no, they had to boost the Yanks up at a spot they desperately needed, and now they're even with the Bosox (or ahead of them, pending results).

Meanwhile, the Phils keep unloading people, albeit with decent moves (Bell and Lidle were not worth it). But they could have kept Bobby. He's worth the money he was seeking, and even if he was having a slightly down year, his numbers from the last few seasons prove that he's always reliable. Get rid of Burrell if you must, but not Bobby.

By the way, the NL is still awful, and even though they keep losing, they're not out of it. If they think these moves will give them a jolt, then by all means, but sending Abreu packing seems to me to be sending the message that they're giving up. Don't give up, Phils. You absolutely have a shot to be in it. The Reds, Braves, Brewers, Dodgers... who else is in it? There's no one great.

I'm leaving the East Coast now, but I'll be back to knock some heads in if this ball club does not get its act together.

I love it when you call me Big Papi

I think it's safe to say that David Ortiz, aside from being someone who I would clearly love to hug, is almost certainly the best clutch hitter of our time and perhaps of all time. He won two of the three games against the beloved/hapless Phillies in extra innings. Hurrah. He has some of the mostr memorable hits in the recent history of the game. And aside from all that, look at those threads.

Also, let me be the first to congratulate the Phillies on losing their division for certain. Thanks to the man I like to call Brett "The Hit Man" Myers. And now the nickname will finally stick.

flags at half-mast

Is it too early for me to do a State of the Phils address? I don't think so. This week was a perfect time to start complaining, and as a Philadelphian, it doesn't take much, does it?

The boys in red got swept by the division rival Mets, who are like 9 games ahead of them now and look to have stopped underacheiving on their big-name, big-budget lineup. Philly is not going to catch them... unless they do something. As in, make a move. Will they do it?

Right now Philly is right at .500 and there's a bunch of teams in front of them in the NL. I really doubt the Reds or all those NL west teams who've started off well will hold up, but the Astros and Braves always might come on. The division looks lost, but it's early and the Mets could be peaking (although, they will likely add people if they can, cough, ahem, Alfonso Soriano, ech). So... it wil be a rough road to the playoffs, but they can do it. IF THEY ADD SOMEONE!!

This is a good year for management to prove they care about winning. They can send a message to fans that their nice new ballpark is giving them reason to spend more cash, that they're not going to dick around and hope the farm system comes through. Last year, it looked lost, with them dumping Kevin Millwood early on and falling behind early in the year. When BIlly Wagner said they were done, we believed it. But they came on strong and finished just one game out.

Based on that strong finish, they would do it in the offseason, right? Get the job done with free agents and stuff? Nope. Even though they brought in a new GM, Wagner still left to the Mets - a real killer this year - and they dumped Jim Thome, hero for the past few years, thinking he was dead. Well, Thome is not dead, although I don't argue the logic of the trade. They needed a centerfielder who could hit at the top of the order, and Ryan Howard did great at first and cleanup. But isn't there a way they could have put Howard in the outfield? Wouldn't you rather have him and Thome, even with bad defense, than him and Pat F-----g Burrell? By the way, if they swing a trade, is there any possible way that Pat the (weak) Bat can be a part of it?

Oh, and they didn't pick up a front-line starter, instead going with youth and some guy named Cory Lidle. Their pitching staff might have potential, but for now it ranks as the least intimidating out of all the NL teams trying to make it. I don't want to give up on these guys too early, but if you could get a known commodity like Barry Zito or Dontrelle Willis, why not? They still have some years left.

So, Pat Gillick, it's up to you. You walked into a situation where they never paid money and waited for the farm system. Well, you can change that. You can use some of those prospects to get good players for now and for the immediate future. I assume that's what you were hired for... to change things. You need to get a good starter for the stretch run. Wolfpack coming back isn't going to cut it. Ryan Madson certainly is NOT cutting it. Cole Hamels, Brett Myers, and Gavin Floyd mgiht make a good rotation someday, but again, stop waiting.

I'll be watching the transaction page for the Phils as much as I watch the scoreboard and standings. If they don't make a move, soon the new ballpark will be just like the Vet, only more costly.

Domo origato, Mr Leo

J. Leo has enough chutzpah for this entire blog. I like your moxie, kid. And other such generic old-timey motivational phrases.

Yes, it's true - The Dough Boy is back, and he generously accepted a $22 million prorated salary. Thank goodness he's not charging for a full season. Oh, and just to stick it to the league a little bit more, he tacked another 22 bucks on the end of the figure so it could all match his uniform number. $22,000,022. For maybe 20 starts. Dick!

The AL East is indeed a good-looking race once again. If the Jays ever get a decent pitching staff, or at least something to match their bats, the Yanks and Sox had better watch out. Rios is leading the league is batting? WTF? Wasn't he Troy Glaus' bat boy last year in Arizona?

And yes, still don't care about Bonds. Can't stand him. Can't stand the League dancing around the issue and the man himself playing it up. He loves this shit. At least ESPN finally cancelled his infomercial show. Again: Dick!

And as a personal addendum, my hiatus has been due to little more than excessive heat in the loft of my apartment, where my computer is. It's unseasonably cool right now, which rocks, so I'll try to update as much as I can while I have things to say/it's not ungodly hot up here.

oh, but we've just begun

Well, it is the end of May and I'm not ready to give up on this baseball blog yet. In fact, I'm just about to get started. The end of student life for me means more time to write and pay attention to various sporting things (this has been an interesting and exciting NBA playoffs... not that we endorse that sort of thing on here). As the baseball season is very long, I usually pay no attention to the first month and its fast starts because it almost always won't matter in the long run. And even though the second month is a better gage, it gives us just a fewmore answers.

Now of course, the third month, with the all-star break giving us time to pause for reflection, is when you should really start paying attention. But still, with what is going on now, as Memorial Day closes and we head into June, we have reason to pay attention to baseball. Here's a few of my notes (i.e. ramblings) why...

- the Detroit Tigers are still in first place, and their pitching staff is holding up well. Sure, it probably won't last, but then, the White Sox kept up their hot start last year and held on. With the Tigers and Chisox both doing well, they have sufficient motivation to keep it up for the rest of the year, much as the Indians and Sox did last year.

- at time of posting, the seperation in the AL east between Boston and New York? Zero games. Ya gotta love that. The best race to watch all season....

.... and the Blue Jays are a few back, despite their pitching problems.

- the NL west, which last season almost gave us the first non-strike division to have zero teams over .500, has EVERY team over .500, and the Rockies were leading it for a while. Now Arizona, similarly mocked at the start of the season, is in front.

- speaking of that, the entire NL is doing much better than expected this year. There's a host of playoff contenders, and they held their own in interleague play....

....and that group of contenders includes the Phils, trudging along and staying in the race.

- also, the Atlanta Braves might finally NOT win the division. That makes me smile, even if it's not the Phils who take them down.

- I can't believe I'm the first person on here to (recently) post this, but Roger Clemens officially came back to the Astros today. Even though the league is tougher, as I just said, he gives them a good shot of getting back to the series. I knew when I saw him pitch here against Mexico that he would never go out like that. Even though the Astors have struggled lately, he can give them a huge lift, and they have to be considered extremely dangerous to get another wild card.

- amazingly, as good as the NL west has been, the AL west is falling apart. The Rangers have hung in only because Oakland and Local Team with Regional Issues have both struggled. And Seattle still sucks and might even get rid of Ichiro. Of course, I'm thoroughly enjoying the Angels' demise - I can't have any respect for these fans. I just can't.

- oh, and no one cares about Barry Bonds. Not at all. Even the media have stopped hyping him up - I didn't even hear about 715* right away, I had to read about it.


See? There's reason to care about baseball again. I'll be continually updating this for however long it before I get a job that takes up every ounce of free time I have (and then I'll sneak on here at work and complain). Swing free, mis amigos.

THE END

As our scholarly advances have ceased for the duration of the summer season, so have our attempts at combining humor and baseball.

Perhaps as summer closes, autumn begins (baseball becomes interesting again what with approaching playoffs) we shall reconvene and Insurance Runs will continue.

Sharks!

Poor Dontrelle Willis. That guy just can't catch a break. The guy won the effin World Series only a couple of years ago, now he's stuck with a 11-25 team full of losers and Miguel Cabrera. Dude's young, but he's got some nasty stuff. I know that he's 1-4 and hasn't looked very good, but I really do think that it's probably just the shittiness of the team that's gotten to him. I don't think I would have any will to play well if I knew that my bosses would just sell off all the good players once we got good. It's amazing that this has happened not just once, but twice now, and that the Marlins have somehow won two World Series in spite of, not because of, their front office. Apparently, the owners would rather have cardboard cutouts of players instead of actual ones, so long as the cutouts were happy with three hundred thou a year.

Baseball - and professional sports in general, I suppose - as business is a terrifying thing. I feel like the front office for the Marlins have watched The Producers one too many times. Somehow they've managed to figure out that if they have a team of youngsters and shitty players, they'll make more money for themselves. Both times they won the Series they've ended up selling off all their good players. This time it was more like a slow bleed, but it's getting to the point where Cabrera and Willis are the only decent ones left, and it's likely that they'll be gone this year or next. Good thing the Marlins don't have any fans.

A whole new meaning for changeup

I've always wondered how successful a switch-throwing pitcher could be in the big leagues. I tried doing some research and found that there has only been one guy, Greg Harris, who has done it since 1900. As an Expo, he pitched to four batters and had a shutout inning in 1995 against the Reds. For years he had wanted to try it out in the Majors, and after being told no for his whole career, good old Felipe Alou finally let him.

As a sidenote, the first guy to do it was Tony Mullane (shown at left), starting back in 1881. Dude didn't even wear a glove, he just toed the rubber with the ball in both hands and picked one to throw with.

Anyhow, what got my interest going was this article. While I don't think the kid will ever get to the big leagues, it's interesting to think how effective someone who could pitch well from both sides, and was allowed to do so, might be.

Did anyone else know that Bucky Dent is the bench coach for the Cincinnati Reds? I didn't.

Recently, Simmons wrote a great article about his obsession with fantasy baseball, and how his wife doesn't quite understand his fanaticism over his team. As I find myself six weeks into my Yahoo Fantasy League, the article was quite poignant to me. I no longer care about the fate of entire teams, just players. Oakland lost to Toronto 8-3? Who cares, Nick Swisher went 2-4 with two HR's, and he didn't strike out. I don't care that the Twins are 15-19, I care that Torii Hunter is only hitting .268. I won't even dane to glance at the Orioles box score until Brian Roberts comes off of the DL.

It's kind of pathetic, in a way. I've turned into even more of a box-score and stats person than I was before. It's fun, though, at the same time. I have been following baseball much more closely all season, and since I don't have any money invested in this league, if I lose it's still okay. All the same, I wish Joe Mauer was doing as well as everyone thought he was going to.

Our new hero

We here at Insurance Runs have expressed our distaste for Barry Bonds. We have spoken against him in the hopes that there are people elsewhere who share this unabashed apathy towards his horse-testosterone-driven swipe at almost-glory. (If these people exist, and we are certain they do, they obviously don't work at ESPN. Honestly, don't care. Don'tcaredon'tcaredon'tcare.)

My personal faith was reaffirmed tonight by this lovely gentlemen who goes by the name of Juan.



Pierre robbed Bonds on a hit to center during the fifth of the Giants' systematic dismantling of the woeful Cubbies. If the media could stop sucking Bonds off for three seconds, they would see that this is all a charade, that no one in the public really cares. Well, maybe people in the midwest, but they hardly count as people, now do they? (Browns fans...shudder.) We're more interested in seeing Pujols hitting like an inebriated gentleman from the American South who didn't get his supper, in Thome's resurgence as a power threat, in the Phitin' Phils winning their ninth in a row, in the Yanks getting routed and the Unit getting booed off the field in Yankee Stadium.

Scott Van Pelt: love ya, but lay off the Bonds. Not concerned with it. Besides, you're so good! You even make Nascar highlights bearable! Don't waste your flavor (flava?) with that fat-head.

Goin' Streakin'

I was kind of knocked out of my sports rhythm last week due to my recent move, but when I got hooked back into the Matrix, I was thrilled to see that my Phils has won 5 in a row. I was worried that it was only because I hadn't been watching, but they continued to produce, and I couldn't be happier. Tons of offense, some ego-boosting wins for the starting rotation, not to mention Chase Utley getting named NL Player of the Week. Dude is seeing the ball right now, and the team in general is finally clicking on all cylinders, as far as offense goes. That game where Utley and Ryan Howard both hit two homers? Killer. And now, they've won 8 in a row, heading into a huge series with the Division rival Mets. Everyone will be paying close attention to this one, and not just because Billy Wagner will be returning to Philly. After seeing the reception Bonds got on Sunday, though, even Wagner knows he's going "to catch hell" once he steps into that bullpen. But this series is even more important, as a sweep (however improbable) would launch the Phils to within one game of first place.

It seems that the Phils aren't the only ones streaking lately though. The San Diego Padres have won 9 in a row, going from 8-14 to 17-15 in the past 10 games. They won their 9th straight yesterday against future Hall-of-Famer Greg Maddux and the Chicago Cubs, who were also swept with the win. The Cubs have been on a streak of their own, but going the opposite way. They've lost 7 straight, including the afore-mentioned 4-game sweep from the Padres. Having lived in Chicago for two years now, I'm sure that the fans here are not surprised in the least, but are drowning their disappointment with Old Style and bratwurst.

Some other streaks worth mentioning: before Sunday, the Arizona Diamondbacks had won 7 in a row, keeping them ahead of the Padres. That NL West is gonna be crazy this year, especially with the youthful Rockies playing the way they have been (they've won 4 in a row, by the way).

The New York Yankees have won 5 in a row, and the Boston Red Sox have won 4 coming into the great rivalry starting tonight. There will be some fireworks there, for sure, and no doubt Lou and others will have plenty to say about that in the days ahead.

That's what I'll be looking at the next three days - the two hottest series in baseball - Phillies/Mets and Sox/Yankees. We'll see whose streak can be extended.

3 up, 3 down

To celebrate the beginning of May, and because I'm bored and it's late, here are 3 guys doing really well who you may or may not have noticed. As well, here are 3 guys who you probably shouldn't take notice of because they're not exactly doing well. Anyhow...

3 up...

Toby Hall
In 80 AB's this year, the dude has only struck out once. He's batting .321 the highest on the Devil Rays, but only has 6 runs scored on the year. Maybe he should be batting before Johnny Gomes, not after.




Edgar Renteria
While he didn't do so well in Boston, he's thriving in Atlanta. He's batting .364, slugging .494 and has hit safely in 19 straight games... and only 2 errors on the year so far.




Bronson Arroyo
He isn't such a bad pitcher, it seems, once he's out of the bullpen. At 5-0 this season, he's tied for the most wins in MLB, and second only to Chris Carpenter in the NL for ERA and 4th in MLB with 2.06.




Honorable Mention: Matt Holliday. He's slugging .525 with 28 RBI's and 6 HR's, and has hit his stride in May. He's good in MVP '05, too.

And 3 Down...

Livan Hernandez
He's now 1-4 with a 6.29 ERA and 31 SO's after going 4-2 with a 4.04 ERA and 25 SO's last season through 7. When he's on, he's on this year, including 7-inning no decision against the cardinals where he only gave up 3 hits and a run. Still, at the rate he's going now, he'll end up 5-16. Not too good for your staff's 'Ace.'


A.J. Burnett
He's only pitched 10 innings this year, and all he's done is get himself an 0-1 record, given up 4 HR's, 12 hits, and a 6.30 ERA. I know he's on the DL at the moment, but the Jays took a risk in signing him, injuries and all, and he's left Halladay out to dry so far.



Preston Wilson
For someone getting paid $4 million this year, He's on pace for 31 HR's, but also on pace for 184 SO's, only 3 below his career high (in 2000 with Florida where, coincidentally, he also had 31 HR's) He needs to start getting a better read on the ball.



Honorable Mention: Josh Towers. He's 0-6 with a 10.59 ERA. Not what you want from your number two guy. They always have Burnett, I guess.


That's all, no more rambling tonight. Maybe I'll do this at the end of May. Probably not. Also, have the Phillies really won 5 straight games? Seems pretty improbable to me. I wish I could go to the games coming up against the Giants and heckle Barry Bonds. That, and watch him hit. Watching he and Pujols hit, though they come from two different schools (steroids and talent, respectively), watching the both of them is exactly like watching a video game.

232 walks

Okay, I just wanna get one thing straight: I fucking hate Barry Bonds. He's a cheater, he's a dick, and he's ruined the game. We all know the allegations and I suppose at this point we all believe what we want to about him. Yes, he's a good hitter - he's always been one of the most selective and has always had decent power - but that doesn't change the fact that you don't just get that much bigger when you're 35. You just don't. Our bodies don't work that way. Also, if my head got two hat sizes bigger, I would probably be a little worried.



Bonds came up with the Pirates in '86 (yar, 20 years ago) and came to the Giants in '93. Uh, don't get too close to him with that needle - he might explode.

Closing time

I really like the idea of a closer having a theme song; something to let the hometown crowd know that the game is 'over.' I didn't find a single pitcher who has used what I consider the best song ever to come in to. That, of course, would be Slayer's 'Raining Blood.' If you don't know it, just go download it and you'll see. I'm not going to get in to the Billy Wagner/Mariano Rivera 'Enter Sandman' debate, because I think that they're both big boys who should play nice. I will, however, analyze a few of the songs that pitchers have used, either currently or in the past.

Billy Wagner, Mets / Mariano Rivera, Yankees - Metallica 'Enter Sandman'

This song is awesome for its simple, instrumental opening. It's instantly recognizable, and since Rivera and Wagner are very effective closers, hearing that as a batter has to be intimidating. At the same time, since Metallica is so well known, the surprise is gone, and people may focus on the song more than the incoming pitcher.

Jonathan Papelbon, Red Sox / Brad Lidge, Astros - Drowning Pool 'Bodies'
I know Lil' Papi is a young guy, but that's no excuse for using this horrible song. Hopefully, like Keith Foulke (coming up next), someone else picked this song for him. The whispering at the beginning, followed by the scream, is pretty raucous, but all the same, after the intro, there isn't much there. The line 'something's got to give' is pretty bad, too, since that's exactly what these two are in there not to do.

Keith Foulke, Red Sox - Danzig 'Mother'
Okay, this is probably one of the best choices for any closer. The fact that Johnny Damon and Kevin Millar picked this out for him in 2004 is pretty great. It's kind of simply, almost country in some places, but anyone who can come in to a song called 'Mother' is pretty badass.

Brian Fuentes, Rockies - Staind 'For You'
I know it's Staind, but this song has a really dark intro. The word mother is in this song as well, oddly enough. Aside from the low, pulsing intro, this song doesn't have much else going for it. He had his club record streak for saves snapped on Friday, and I'm sure this song is the reason.

Francisco Cordero, Rangers - Bill Conti 'Gonna Fly Now' (Rocky Theme)
Okay, this song isn't intimidating at all. But it's the theme from friggin Rocky, and you know what Rocky did in the end: win. Not a bad pick for a song, I guess.

Eric Gagne, Dodgers - Guns N' Roses 'Welcome to the Jungle'
Yes, Eric, yes. Soaring intro, breaking down in to pure rock. I listen to this song when I need to get pumped to complete a mountain of work. Definitely a good pick.

Eddie Guardado, Mariners / Trevor Hoffman, Padres - AC/DC 'Hell's Bells'
The bell is quite the attention getter, but it would definitely work better for Tom Gordon out in Philly. They could move that giant bell in the outfield they use for home runs. It would be perfect. Dude's voice isn't really that scary, though, it just sounds like he's in pain.

Jason Isringhausen, Cardinals - Sevendust 'Black'
Sevendust sucks. So does Isringhausen in the clutch (sometimes).

Todd Jones, Tigers - Building 429 'Glory Defined'
What a horrible song to come in to. There's no way I'd be afraid of this guy, and there's no way I'd want to warm up to this. It's slow, sappy and boring.

Joe Nathan, Twins - Big Head Todd 'Boom Boom'
Quite a different song from the others on this list, and for that Joe gets credit. It's still pretty silly, but I guess that's what gets him up for the 9th.

Huston Street, A's - Nas 'Hate Me Now'
Great pick. It has the potential to throw off opposing batters, and it's definitely good to warm up to, I would imagine. Kind of odd, because Huston seems like the whitest white dude name this side of Thadeus.

Bobby Jenks, White Sox - P.O.D. 'Boom'
P.O.D. is the band that fat metal kids drool over. Bobby Jenks is a fat metal kid, I assume, so whatever works man...

Pretty neat article on why your little league coach is the reason you're not in the major's right now.

Here's another site about how Dock Ellis pitched his no hitter in 1970 on LSD.