Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Leo's Official Response to the Mitchell Report

Meh..... It's not that surprising.

I guess it's nice to see Clemens have to deal with scrutiny.

See there, George, I just saved you seven hours. You're welcome.

Monday, October 29, 2007

Study finds Boston "no longer considered cute"

October 29, 2007 - BOSTON, MASS.

It was reported today that a recent study showed Americans had lost all rooting interest for New England teams and New Englanders themselves, unless they happened to be one. The study comes in the wake of the Red Sox clinching the world series on the same day that the Patriots improved to 8-0 with a 52-7 drubbing of the Washington Redskins. It appears Boston, once the darling of the underdog lovers across the world, is no longer fun to root for.

"I think it comes from the earlier part of the decade, when the Sox and Pats were always destined to fuck up," says Boston street psychologist Sean O' Flannery. "Remember the 2001 Pats? No one thought they'd beat the Rams. They always pissed themselves in the big game. But they won, behind a true underdog in Tom Brady, and it was a great story. And then, my Gawd, the curse. The Sox! Down 3-0! Everyone hates the Yankees! But they pulled it off, and then everyone couldn't help themselves."

The study confirmed that people across the country, exculding New England, began to get tired of seeing the Red Sox and Patriots on TV constantly. The national sports media, once fixated on New York, has made Boston its go-to source of overused footage. The go-fuck-yourself attitudes of Patriots coach Bill Belichick and Sox ace Curt Schilling did not help matters. Former out-of-nowhere, great underdog story Tom Brady now goes through supermodels like a pack of Newports and appears on magazines from GQ to Cat Fancy. The Sox payroll is topped only by the Paris Hilton-esque spending Yankees. The lovable underdog image is clearly gone, according to the report. Both teams were favored to win titles this year, and the Sox have done so.

"You want suffering, we've got it," said longtime Cleveland resident Arnie Biffer. "People thought it was cute that the Sox came back to win the ALCS. CUTE??? We haven't won the series since WW2. We haven't even BEEN to a Super Bowl yet. But there they are, getting all the attention. They think they're cute.

You ain't cute anymore, Boston."

America, it seems, agrees.

Sunday, October 07, 2007

Ah, the life of Philly

I've been on the East coast for the past week, basking in the first real playoff excitement in Philly in years. It was luck that I decided to come home this week andwas able to see them pull it off up close. First off, can you believe it? After years of almost doing it, they got enough to squeeze in on the very last day. People were celebrating. I couldn't drive around South Jersey without seeing rally caps and red balloons everywhere. The Cherry Hill mall was finally covered in red instead of green.

I haven't had computer access, but I wanted to post this on here last week:
FUCK YES!!!!!!





But instead, I will have to post this now:






That's it then, as I just saw. That is the end of it.

We shouldn't be so surprised, or disheartened. The Rockies were the hottest team in baseball, only no one was paying attention to them (as opposed to all eyes on the Phils-Mets race). Philly is a constant state of ups and downs. It's still great to see them end the playoff drought, and with only 8 spots, baseball is still the hardest sport to make the playoffs in. Just ask the Brewers, Mets, and Padres, the latter two teams being ones I thought for certain, up until two weeks ago, to be in the NLCS. It's tough.




but seriously....


Colorado vs. Arizona? Who the fuck is going to watch that?????

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

trade deadline deals

Hello? Is anyone still reading this?

You know the trade deadline passed today?

Did you also know that the Phils are one game back in the Wild Card standings?


In SoCal, the big news (not really) is that the Angels did nothing. Despite the Mariners creeping up like it's 1995, despite an abundance of young talent, despite a glaring need for a bat, the Angels stood pat. Their G.M., Bill Stoneman, is less active and more in love with his own farm system than the guys who used to run the Phils. They could have easily been a contender, but no, they like their team too much.

They'll like it when Boston or Detroit crushes them, if they even make the playoffs.

Also, them not going for Mark Texiera made it easier for the Braves to get him. Dammit. Now the Phils have to worry about them too.

The Red Sox have gumption. The Angels don't. The Phils made a few nice moves but I'm not going to jinx anything.

Nice job, Stoneman. I've been paying attention to the Angels for three months and I'm already convinced that you are merely a hologram.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Oh, those O's

The Orioles just fired their manager, Sam Perlazzo, but it's not like he had much to work with. This is creating a debate amongst sportswriters everywhere: is this a dead job? Can the Orioles ever win again? Most say no. I would like to pose this question to Mr. Perseghin, but it seems he has fled from humanity in a remote Rhode Island camping colony. I didn't know Rhode Island was big enough to be lost in, frankly. Whenever you come back to the world, Louis, perhaps you can weigh in on this.

I'm interested in this case for a few reasons. Number one, I used to have split allegiances with the Phillies and Orioles. The Orioles were my favorite AL team until I started seeing the abosolute pain the Red Sox fans held. It was easy to get to Baltimore from my house in Lancaster, so they were on the news as much as the Phils. During the mid 90's, when the Phils were awful and the O's were in the playoffs all the time, we needed it. Number two, it might help show people why basbeall needs some sort of salary cap. Number three, I like Baltimore; they have a good stadium and good fans, traditionally. They deserve better.

Are they really dead? Is there no hope for them in the AL East? Let us consider the pros and cons.


Peter Angelos is..... well, some have called him the worst owner ever. Is there anyone who doesn't hate this guy? Have you ever heard him described as less than despicable?

The AL East is loaded and it's never going to get any easier because the Yankees and Red Sox will always have the cash to spend. Sometimes, the Blue Jays too.

They now have to share the area with the Nationals.

Since the Red Sox-Yankee rivalry heated up again, no national sources have paid any attention to them and they haven't gottten close to the playoffs.

They haven't had a good pitcher in years.

Their big-name signings did nothing.

None of the managers since Davey Johnson did anything... and even he got fired.


Andy MacPhail has done good work before in other front offices.

They claim to have a lot of young pitchers, and they managed to bring in former Braves svengali Leo Mazzone to help.

At least they did spend for a while. Their payroll is larger than a lot of the bad teams... they haven't gone completely cheap on everyone.

They're getting a lot of money from a new TV deal.

Despite the addition of the Nationals, it should be noted that the Beltway is one of the richest and most prosperous areas of the country. The area is full of people with cash and corporate sponsors.

Camden Yards is still nice.


Honestly? I don't know. I think anyone in that division has trouble... you might get a year when one of the powerhouses is down, but then the rest of the AL is tough. I hope we can get a deabte here, if anyone still reads this. I'd hate to see all the hope run out in Baltimore.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

one night at Chavez Ravine

So I made my first trip to Dodger Stadium on Monday night. The Boys in Blue (sorry, Pierre Robeire, it actually works for them) lost big to the Cards. I managed to harass Scott Rolen, grab a few Dodger Dogs, and take in most of the game. My rating for the stadium? I'd say a solid B.

The atmosphere is good and the stadium is classically simple. Yes, there are too many rich people who come in late and don't make enough noise, but even most of the fans in the good sections appreciate the game. They weren't falsely excited, either, like those bizarre Angel fans. Good for them. It's not as intense as the Vet, and not as fancy as PNC, but it's a nice mix.

Monday, April 02, 2007


It's opening day already?

I'm in no shape for a season preview.

I was going to pick the Cubs, but that's not going to help them any. So I pick Yankees over Braves. Because I have terrible, terrible karma. (Although I picked that the Phils would narrowly miss the wild card last year as a semi-joke and that happened. Again.)

Phils.... finish above the Pirates. Safe enough? Watch them lose 90 now.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

uhhhhh no......

I was listening to the radio out here for traffic tips, as I always am during the hours of 6-8 in the morning, when the quick sports blurb came up about a major league team that was planning on having a promotion that included bringing sewing projects to the park. I figured they really meant a minor league team, or perhaps maybe the Devil Rays, as they would have lots of old people. But when they came back from commercial, they confirmed it: that's right, the Phils.

I doubted it, but it's even on the official website for the night of June 26:


Now, I know that the Phils' front office is trying here to reach out to new demographics. This is likely aimed at bringing women / elderly fans to the park. Sewing seems like such a warm, fuzzy activity that it couldn't possibly lead to anything bloody or riotous.

Too bad they forgot where they are.

I went to the last three or four opening day games at the Vet. I saw what people could do with objects they no longer needed to carry on their person. Some kid had the - gall? stupidity? cojones? a cross between all three? - to wear a Kobe jersey to the very last one. Within seconds, he was being bombarded by empty bottles, free hats and towels, and anything else that could be thrown without back damage. Let's not forget the greatest moment in the history of Veterans Stadium: the infamous J. D. Drew game, where people were so upset that it wasn't winter and they couldn't throw snowballs with batteries hidden inside (as had been the practice at Eagles games for quite some time) that they just openly brought used batteries and chucked them, nearly causing a forfeit. Hell, they don't even need weapons. I once saw a guy pull another sucker down twelve rows of bleachers.... both got up and kept punching. This stitch and pitch business could be worse than 10 cent beer night.

I know that the people behind this will say that they will allow only plastic needles and keep the knitting to grandmas. Again, they seem to forget who they're dealing with. Plastic needles can still poke an eye out if used with such force, and in Philly, even the grandmas can get in on the action. That mitten probably has some jagged rocks in it.

Anyone in for an over/under on the eye injuries that night?

(Speaking of the Phightin's, I recently discovered that wanted pirate / was once a man / of Boston divided loyalty / war mongerer Mikael Mulllller is part of a group blog just for the Phils: . Perhaps we shall connect with them to provide baseball snarkiness in all corners. As the only person left on this blog who cares about the Phils, I say welcome.)

Monday, February 26, 2007

<3 Tito

Many notes already on the Red Sox Spring Training Media Extravaganza™. Manny shows up three days early bucking everyone's expectations. Of course, he could decide to pull a Bonds and just sit around the locker room in his leather easy chair. Sources report his dreads look "less Predator-like" this year.

Dice-K threw batting practice; Tito compares him to Michael Jordan, except the former Seibu Lions star "can't dunk." He said the comparison was mostly due to K's fondness for "gambling and white women."

Tito was not at practice Friday due to flu-like symptoms. He told the press he was at home watching the Anna Nicole Smith court proceedings on television. "I wanted to see if Manny [Ramirez] would show up there."

I didn't even have to make that last one up. And I don't even think I could have come up with a better punchline. Damn you, Tito!

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Stepping out of character

Ok, I know this is a baseball blog. I set it up. I know. And this post is about football, sure, but it is inextricably linked to baseball. I promise.

It won't be hard to follow, since I have neither the wherewithal nor attention span to make a J Leo-sized post. I just don't have it in me.

Now, I know I get no sympathy for liking the Pats. I don't. The Patriots, in an ironic and horrifying twist of fate, are the Yankees of football. No one but Patriots fans ever want them to win. We find Belichick's eccentricity to be a sure sign of genius, and his cut-off, ratty-ass sweatshirt the calling card of a mind that is on another ethereal plane. We worship the ground Tom Brady graces with his Adonis-like form, and find owner Bob Kraft repulsive but a born winner who accepts nothing less than perfection.

Compare these to Joe Torre (who, like Belichick, has been scrutinized for having a far superior team and has been accused of not being able to win elsewhere (look what happened to B in Cleveland)), Derek Jeter, and The Boss (Steinbrenner, not Springsteen). The Colts are the Red Sox - the lovable little scamps from the hick town who can just never quite pull off the upset.

But, like the Yankees, the Patriots have gotten old. They have not been able to replace "character guys with character guys," to steal a line from the Sports Guy. Without Rodney Harrison, the secondary couldn't help stop the run even if Rhodes and Addai had been running off to marry their moms. Backup linebacker Larry Alexander gave it his best, but they looked mushy in the middle. Reche Caldwell and Jabar Gaffney gave it their best for a couple of Gators (still bitter about the Buckeyes getting raped), but Deion Branch and David Givens each had nearly what they combined for in the regular season.

True, they have up and comers - Lawrence Maroney looks like the back for the future, Tom will be around and dominant (if he gets his head out of his ass) for six or seven more years, Assante Samuel tied for the league lead in picks this year, and Vince Wilfork - well, dude's bigger than a Yugo.

What it comes down to, I guess, is that in baseball we're lucky to have several chances to prove ourselves. I feel like the Pats could have beaten the Colts in a best of five, or even best of three, series, but they just got the best of them that one game. In football, there are no down-three-games-to-none miracle comebacks, and that makes me sad.

What it comes down to, I guess, is that when I walked out of the bar on Sunday, my first thought was, "Hell, it's only like a month before Dice K shows up in Fort Myers for training camp, right? Life ain't so bad."

Now, I just have to stop thinking of myself as a Yankees fan.

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Confessions of a Hall of Fame voter

I feel stupid.

I feel stupid because I didn't recognize the obvious signs. Perhaps I did, but I lied to myself. I didn't want to be the curmudgeon, the naysayer, the pundit, the guy everybody hates. I ignored the complete lack of logic during that magical season of 1998. I jumped on the train with everyone else and celebrated.

Now, since everyone realizes what was going on, I feel dumb. I feel dumb for fallign for it, for allowing myself to be blissfully ignorant. Of course, if the fans and other media weren't so concerned about this, I wouldn't be either. You can call me spineless. I can call myself a hall of fame voter.

You may be wondering why we're all ganging up on McGwire, a likable guy who's obvioulsy not the only great player during that era who was juiced. We're not saying anything right now about Clemens and Bonds and many, many others who have really ominous signs. Well, it's just that: we're sending a message to the public that we (now) care so much about steroids that we're willing to make a scapegoat out of the most popular guy in the past ten years. We'll deal with those other stars later.... and we'll see hwo the public reacts then.

Is this unfair? Of course it is! When have we been fair? I've ignored Andre Dawson and Jim Rice for years. Why? Because I'm a hall of fame voter. I like to think that with my priviledges, I can be a higher authority on baseball and not listen to common sense. I have my own rules, and I love the feeling of being better and smarter than everyone else, who doesn't get a vote. I don;t like feeling stupid.

And I feel stupid right now.

Friday, January 05, 2007

What the Eff? Who's running this shit show?

Breaking the silence on this beast because of Randy Johnson. What team in their right mind trades FOUR PLAYERS for a 43 year-old pitcher coming off of back surgery. Having done that, what team gives said pitcher an EXTENSION on an already over the top contract?

The guy is 43. Name a pitcher besides Phil Neikro (and possibly El Duque) who has had much success after that age. Jamie Moyer perhaps, depending what you consider successful to be.

All the same, this trade makes no sense. I hope this deal dies somewhere along the approval lines within the league office, because this is damn near the stupidest trade I've ever heard of. The guy is going to fall apart and the Yankees knows it. I can't see the motivation for this trade from the D-backs perspective at all, except maybe from a marketing standpoint.